1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:05,046 - Hold it! 2 00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:10,135 - New glasses. 3 00:00:14,472 --> 00:00:17,726 - Dwight, what a ridiculous, fancy clown you are. 4 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:21,730 - I am dressed according to the Schrute codes of mourning. 5 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,231 My aunt Shirley has died. 6 00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:25,400 - Oh, Dwight, I'm so sorry. 7 00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:27,068 Were you guys close? 8 00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:28,945 - I would say that she raised me, 9 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,989 but let's not kid each other-- I raised myself. 10 00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:33,575 She was, however, the closest thing I had to a mother. 11 00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:36,161 My actual mother was very cold and distant. 12 00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:39,289 I'd say she was the closest thing I had to an aunt. 13 00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:40,749 - My condolences. - Keep them. 14 00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:42,917 - Okay. Now, what do we got in these two pails? 15 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,794 - In keeping with Schrute custom, 16 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,838 I will either invite you to Saturday's funeral 17 00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:50,842 by sprinkling red, fertile dirt in your face, 18 00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:52,802 or I will ask you to keep a respectful distance 19 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,471 during my time of grief, 20 00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:57,599 with a dusting of black, slightly acidic soil. 21 00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:05,523 - What color is it? - It looks pretty black. 22 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,403 [spits] 23 00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:16,701 - Yep. Acidic, all right. 24 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,622 - [whispering] Oh, thank God. 25 00:01:20,705 --> 00:01:22,082 - Excuse me? 26 00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:23,541 - Oh, I'm so sorry, Dwight. 27 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:26,544 And if you want me to be there, of course I will go. 28 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:29,422 It's just... I have a personal-training session. 29 00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:33,134 - Okay, that's not-- 30 00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:34,886 - I get red dirt. 31 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,805 Nobody is getting red dirt. 32 00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:38,431 I should've kept my mouth shut. 33 00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:39,933 We're not even that close. 34 00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:42,102 I've only known Dwight 12 years. 35 00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:44,020 12 years... 36 00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:46,481 time is a son of a bitch. 37 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:53,613 - I'm sure--I'm sure she's in a better place. 38 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,657 - [whispering] I really hope so. 39 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,287 Okay, now this is crazy. 40 00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:03,998 You can't make a dirtball-- 41 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,167 - [crying] I miss her so much. - Okay. 42 00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:08,211 - You know? - [sighs] 43 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:09,546 - Aah! 44 00:02:09,587 --> 00:02:12,674 {\an8}[cheerful music] 45 00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:19,681 {\an8}? ? 46 00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:36,656 - ? There's a bright golden haze ? 47 00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,533 [guitar playing] ? On the meadow ? 48 00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:41,619 ? A bright golden haze on the meadow ? 49 00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:45,123 [engine rumbling] 50 00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:47,500 Zeke's here. - Zeke. 51 00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:49,336 - Hey, Dwight. 52 00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:51,212 Mose, Mom says hi. 53 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:54,424 - Hi to Mom. 54 00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:56,801 - You going? - Will there be ghosts there? 55 00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,970 - You know I can't say for sure. 56 00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:00,513 - I better not risk it. 57 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:03,933 - [sighs] both: Get in the sidecar. 58 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,393 - Get in the sidecar. 59 00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:07,187 - You get in the sidecar. - Get-- 60 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:13,902 [engine rumbling] 61 00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:20,075 What are you doing here? - You invited me. 62 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,535 You threw the red dirt in my face. 63 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,204 - Oh, yeah. [chuckles] 64 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,207 [horn honking] - Who is that? 65 00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:28,708 - Jeb, my brother. 66 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,627 - You have a brother? - Mm-hmm. 67 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:33,171 - I didn't really see a better parking spot. 68 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:34,214 Oh! 69 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:37,384 Look what I did. [chuckles] 70 00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,386 [car door slams] It's a rental. 71 00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:45,934 [both grunting] 72 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:47,602 You want to go in? - No, you do! 73 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:48,812 - You want to go in? You want to go in? 74 00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,605 I'll put you in there. - Okay, I'll put you-- 75 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:51,648 Here we go. - Oh! 76 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:53,024 - Oh, no! Oh, no! 77 00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:54,776 - Uncle! Uncle! Uncle! Uncle! Uncle! Oh! 78 00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:59,364 - Oh, gosh. - Hey, Moonface. 79 00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:02,617 Nice to see those shiny little Chinese eyes of yours. 80 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,828 - Who's this guy? 81 00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:07,455 - Bad. - Hi, all! 82 00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:09,249 - Why are you here, Todd? 83 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,960 - Okay, let's get right to it, I guess. 84 00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:14,462 My name is Todd Packer, and I am in recovery. 85 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,297 I'm working the steps. 86 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:19,134 I'm on step eight of Alcoholics Anonymous, 87 00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,011 step nine of Narcotics Anonymous. 88 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,138 I'm here to make amends. 89 00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:26,307 I've been hard to deal with over the past years. 90 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,560 Kind of a jerk. I know it. 91 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:31,813 I don't need you to accept my apology, 92 00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:33,815 but I'd love it if you did. 93 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:36,317 - Packer, we accept. 94 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,194 [all protesting] 95 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:40,405 - Actually, they have a specific way I need to do this, 96 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,490 and I have to go through examples of stuff. 97 00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,451 Okay, uh, where to begin? 98 00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,036 Hey... 99 00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:48,621 Pam-Pam and her Pam-Pams. 100 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:52,667 Well, I have said some crude things about those. 101 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,711 But they are beautiful, 102 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:58,381 and I guess that's why I acted out. 103 00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:01,676 Pam, I'm sorry I objectified you 104 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:04,721 and personified your breasts. 105 00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:07,474 Sorry, guys. 106 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,476 Oh, boy. 107 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:13,063 I have not been nice to you. 108 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,731 Phylly, 109 00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:18,318 I'm sorry for the things I said about your size 110 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:20,528 to your face, behind your back, 111 00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,906 and in the form of drawings. 112 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,741 Actually, that goes to all you double-XLs. 113 00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:26,743 Stanley, Kevin... 114 00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,745 this kid in a few years. 115 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:31,790 - Todd, you're just saying insults 116 00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,333 in the form of an apology. 117 00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:35,585 - Why can't I just be nice? 118 00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,504 Truth is... 119 00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:40,382 I really like you guys. I really do. 120 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:44,177 Okay, the apology's just half of it. 121 00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:46,012 The big thing is making amends, 122 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,722 and that's why I brought these. 123 00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:50,016 I went out to the Steamtown Mall, 124 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:53,520 and I got you all cupcakes from that place Nipples. 125 00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,772 - Think it's called Nibbles. 126 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:58,191 - Ha. The mind sees what it wants to, huh? 127 00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,943 - Ohh... 128 00:05:59,984 --> 00:06:03,029 - There you go. 129 00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:09,452 - Hey, hey, guys. Wait. 130 00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:11,246 Before we accept these cupcakes, 131 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,998 I think we need to have a conversation privately 132 00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,417 in the conference room. 133 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,044 - Don't eat the cupcake. 134 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,630 - [German accent] We are here today... 135 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:24,634 to join this woman and the ground. 136 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:27,262 Man is born of woman, 137 00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:31,391 and his life is full of turmoil. 138 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,309 - [chuckles] 139 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,437 It's crap soil. Nothing's gonna grow here. 140 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,647 - It doesn't matter. It's a cemetery. 141 00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:40,108 - Yeah, well, I'm saying it's garbage soil, that's all. 142 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,193 - Well, the only thing we're planting here is dead bodies. 143 00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:44,362 - That's fine, 'cause they're not gonna grow, so... 144 00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,156 - Well, thank God they're not, 145 00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:48,074 because we don't want to make zombies. 146 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,035 - Good. I agree. Don't worry about it. 147 00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:51,703 You won't get any. 148 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:54,080 - Would the family care to say something? 149 00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:00,920 - You had black hair and then gray hair. 150 00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:05,050 - You were the aunt to my cousins. 151 00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:07,344 Most of your life, you were 5'4". 152 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:10,138 At the end, you were 5'1". 153 00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:15,226 - You drove a Volkswagen. 154 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:21,066 - They're a descriptive people. 155 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,318 - You were my sister. 156 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:27,530 The possessions that were yours now fall to me. 157 00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:31,868 And if today's open house goes well, then... 158 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:35,163 Has everyone met my realtor David? 159 00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:38,291 Then I will be able to leave this place in style. 160 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:41,586 Shirley, you've made me very happy. 161 00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,505 [chuckles] 162 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,298 - This is our family? 163 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:48,551 - That's exactly the way I feel. 164 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,637 [whispering] I see you started without me. 165 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,223 - You were late, so... What am I supposed to do? 166 00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:54,891 - Hi, Fannie. - Hey. 167 00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,351 - How are you? - Who is that? 168 00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:58,436 - Dwight's sister. - Dwight has a sister? 169 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,313 - Yeah. 170 00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:01,898 - She's beautiful. 171 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,566 - Blech. [scoffs] 172 00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:05,068 - Hello, little man. 173 00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,529 I haven't seen you in a few years. 174 00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:10,490 Wha--what is this? Oh, God. 175 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,617 - Just... - What'd he-- 176 00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:17,080 Henry. - Dwight. 177 00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:19,416 - I see Esther's back in town. 178 00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,209 - Hi, Dwight. 179 00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:23,586 - Hi, Esther. Nice of you to come today. 180 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:27,215 - This was on the way. We're going into town after. 181 00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:28,800 I need yarn. 182 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,052 - Well, if you can snap two chicken necks 183 00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,387 with a single motion, 184 00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:35,223 why use two motions to slaughter those chickens? 185 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,475 [chuckles] 186 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,519 - We're at a funeral--there's a funeral going on here. 187 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,062 - Okay. - Okay. 188 00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:43,356 - Anyone mention her height? - Yep. 189 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,066 - Land size? 190 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,988 Shirley, at 1,600 acres, 191 00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,115 you have the largest farm in the area, 192 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,743 sharing borders with six other farms 193 00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:58,246 including my own farm and your nephew Dwight's. 194 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,500 Okay. 195 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,256 - Good luck finding some yarn. - Thank you. 196 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,841 - [clears throat] 197 00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:13,178 Okay, you know, I'd like to say something, um... 198 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,263 other than just facts. 199 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:19,934 Aunt Shirley, I have so many wonderful memories 200 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,478 that I can draw from. 201 00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:23,855 But the one that... 202 00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,899 really comes to mind is when you, uh-- 203 00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:28,109 [cell phone ringing] 204 00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:30,195 When you taught me how to ride a pony. 205 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,738 Remember that? - Hello? 206 00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,823 - Are you kidding me? - It's my B-and-B guests. 207 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,368 - You were so patient with me and so kind, 208 00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:37,869 and just... - Good. 209 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:39,829 - No one treated me like that. - No. Oh, you know what? 210 00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:41,289 I can see you right now, actually. 211 00:09:41,373 --> 00:09:42,874 You're going around the curve, right? 212 00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,668 You held my hand as we walked around-- 213 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,336 - Look out on the big green field. 214 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,213 You see me waving my arms? - I mean, just... 215 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:49,839 - That's me. Okay, no, no. 216 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,424 Okay, you're heading in the wrong direction. 217 00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:52,926 - I love you, Aunt Shirley. 218 00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:55,345 - You want to turn around, get onto Schrute Valley Road. 219 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,305 - You will be missed. - No, it's not marked. 220 00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:59,140 There's a sign that says "Feces Street," 221 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:01,142 but that's more of a historical marker. 222 00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:02,894 - Oh, my... - No, that's the wrong way. 223 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,396 You're-- No, no. 224 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,856 Hello? [sighs] 225 00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:09,150 No bars. - Oh. 226 00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,527 - Huh. 227 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,320 Okay, you know what? I need to wrap this up. 228 00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:14,489 - Let's get it going. 229 00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:16,741 - Would you want to do the honors? 230 00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:18,368 - Oh, right, uh... 231 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,537 You know, I-I don't think we have to do this. 232 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,747 - We Schrutes don't need some Harvard doctor 233 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,166 to tell us who's alive and who's dead. 234 00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:28,920 But there was an unlucky streak of burying some heavy sleepers. 235 00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:31,756 And when grave robbers discovered some scratch marks 236 00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,675 on the inside of some of the coffins, 237 00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:35,844 we decided to make sure that our dead 238 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,971 were completely dead... 239 00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:39,639 out of kindness. 240 00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:48,356 - That's it for me. 241 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,862 - I don't think we should eat Packer's cupcakes. 242 00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,406 We can't give him the satisfaction. 243 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,074 - I agree, even though that place has a way 244 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,325 of making those cupcakes 245 00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,411 so they're dense but they're also really fluffy. 246 00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,705 - We can't let him buy our forgiveness with cupcakes. 247 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,373 He was awful to us. 248 00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:07,584 And he still is. 249 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,502 How much is a cupcake, $2.50? 250 00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:11,421 Is that the price of our dignity? 251 00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:15,258 - $3.75 a cupcake, actually, $3.67 if you buy a dozen. 252 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,801 I never forget a number. 253 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:19,095 Names, in one ear and out the other. 254 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:22,098 Places, nope. Faces, that's rich. 255 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,225 But numbers... 256 00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:26,311 I have a gift. 257 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:28,480 I guess that's why I'm an accountant. 258 00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:32,442 - Hey, man, I don't think we met. 259 00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:34,069 I'm Clark. - Oh, I'm Todd. 260 00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:37,655 Oh, sorry for calling you a fat little runt earlier. 261 00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:40,033 - You didn't actually say that. 262 00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:41,284 - No? - No. 263 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,660 - Wow. 264 00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:44,162 I'm in this mode now 265 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:45,955 where I'm apologizing for thoughts that are in my head. 266 00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:47,957 - Hmm. [forced chuckle] 267 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,459 - Hey. 268 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:52,212 I have a crazy feeling 269 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:55,006 that you are really gonna like this. 270 00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:57,300 - Maybe we should eat the cupcakes. 271 00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:59,010 Haven't we done enough to Packer? 272 00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:00,970 I mean, we sent him down to Florida on a prank, 273 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,472 and you did fire him. 274 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,932 - I did. I did, yes. 275 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,059 And it was purely political. He did nothing wrong. 276 00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:07,769 - Would any of you be saying any of this 277 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,437 if the cupcakes were from Supermart? 278 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,189 - Do they even have a bakery anymore? 279 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,565 - They do. It's awful. 280 00:12:12,691 --> 00:12:14,734 And it's getting worse every day. 281 00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:17,445 - So it really is just about the cupcakes. 282 00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:21,241 - Wow, you're right. It is just about the cupcakes. 283 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:25,954 - So we're all agreed-- no one touches those cupcakes? 284 00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:27,497 - Okay. - Okay. 285 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,041 Packer can go to hell. 286 00:12:30,125 --> 00:12:33,128 - Fannie, how's Boston? 287 00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:36,089 Seeing anyone in particular? - Mm, no, not in a while. 288 00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:38,258 - Getting any schtupe-schtupe in the old kling-klon? 289 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:42,637 - Yes, yes, thank you so much. Thank you for asking. 290 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,515 - Why don't we talk about your worm farm, Private? 291 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:46,558 - Ooh. 292 00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:47,976 After I left the army, 293 00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:51,479 I bought a 9-acre worm farm from a Californian. 294 00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:57,652 Turns out, "worm" means something else out there, 295 00:12:57,736 --> 00:13:02,407 and I am now in the business of... 296 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,451 pain management... 297 00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:08,788 or the smoking of pain management. 298 00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:11,541 - I can't stand the fact that Jeb is a pot farmer. 299 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:15,295 He could've grown anything, anything in the world. 300 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:18,882 He used to talk about growing a peanut-grape hybrid-- 301 00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:22,093 one plant, one sandwich. 302 00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:25,513 I bet he could've done it, too. 303 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:28,058 - Okay, well, I'm just a regular farmer. 304 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,726 - Mm. 305 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,436 - That's not at all what the federal government would say. 306 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,979 - No. - The "federal government"? 307 00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:34,773 That's a big combination of words. 308 00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:38,234 - Ah, welcome. You must be the Hoskins. 309 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,320 I'm glad you finally found the place, come on. 310 00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:43,281 Haskins, of course. Yes, Haskins. 311 00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:44,949 I have your reservation right here. 312 00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,494 - Is there some event going on here? 313 00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:49,704 - Oh, just a little funeral reception. 314 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,498 - Maybe there's another inn nearby. 315 00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:53,625 - No, no, no, it's okay. It's just finishing up. 316 00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,877 Let's clear it up, everybody! We're done! We're out of here! 317 00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:58,338 [whistling] 318 00:13:58,421 --> 00:13:59,881 - She was old. It's no big deal. 319 00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:01,216 - [chuckles awkwardly] 320 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:04,010 - I can offer you the irrigation room upstairs 321 00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:07,972 or the newly renovated transportation-themed room 322 00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,557 right out there. 323 00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:14,104 - Listen, uh, what type of feathers are in the pillows? 324 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,939 - I believe the duck was a Christian, 325 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,315 if that's what you're asking. 326 00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:19,275 - My husband is allergic to goose down. 327 00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,277 - So... 328 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,071 we need to make sure there's no goose down in the pillows. 329 00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:24,906 Zeke, empty all the pillows! 330 00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:26,616 Here you are. 331 00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:30,453 - And you did receive our fax on our dietary restrictions? 332 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,789 - Yep. 333 00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:37,419 - It's just a fatal allergy, so we have to be extra careful. 334 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,421 - Uh-huh. 335 00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:44,843 Enjoy your stay. 336 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,344 It's probably just peanuts, right? 337 00:14:46,428 --> 00:14:47,762 That's the new, trendy allergy. 338 00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:50,098 - How is it that you're in the hospitality business? 339 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:53,101 It's like you're actively inhospitable to these people. 340 00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:55,562 - When you're running a farm, every little bit helps. 341 00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:57,522 I'd hoped that the bed-and-breakfast 342 00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:58,732 would thrive. 343 00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:00,483 I don't know. Maybe it's the economy. 344 00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:03,194 Or maybe the guests can sense how much I hate them. 345 00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:05,405 And if you're looking for a getaway 346 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,866 that's near the Poconos but not in them, 347 00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:10,618 try Schrute Farms. 348 00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:13,788 - Thank you for coming to my funeral. 349 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,791 As I gaze at life's big sunset, 350 00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:20,128 I can't help but wonder where it all went wrong. 351 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:23,590 You've all disappointed me greatly. 352 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:26,468 Fannie, a single mama in the city. 353 00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:27,844 - Thank you. 354 00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:29,304 - Jeb, a street pusher. 355 00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:30,555 - Hmm, smart woman. 356 00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:32,098 - We can't just sit by 357 00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:35,560 and watch our family farm disappear. 358 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,187 So here are my terms. 359 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,064 Dwight, Fannie, Jeb, 360 00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:41,775 if you come back home, 361 00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:44,402 I will leave you my farm. 362 00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:46,946 But it has to be all three of you. 363 00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:50,033 Heinrich, if they agree, you get nothing. 364 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,035 So there you have it. 365 00:15:52,077 --> 00:15:54,245 - Is she crazy? Dwight? 366 00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:55,830 - Dwight? Buddy? - No, no, no. 367 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,665 - Snap out of it. [snapping fingers] Dwight. 368 00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:04,255 - Let's do this. Let's run Aunt Shirley's farm. 369 00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:05,924 I'm in. Boom! 370 00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:07,509 - No, no, no. I'm not moving back here. 371 00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:09,094 Are you crazy? - Of course you are. 372 00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:10,887 - Look, I don't want to be mean or, like, insulting. 373 00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:13,098 I know that you like it here. 374 00:16:13,223 --> 00:16:16,434 But, Dwight, it's just that farm life lacks a certain... 375 00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:18,770 sort of sophistication... - Oh, my God. 376 00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,397 - That Cami and I are drawn to. 377 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:21,815 And... [sighs] I don't know. 378 00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:24,067 The men are just-- [sighs] 379 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:27,070 It's almost like there's a-a willing ignorance. 380 00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:29,823 Yes, I-- Thank you for asking me. 381 00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:32,200 I actually have written a little bit of poetry. 382 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:33,910 That's crazy. 383 00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:37,288 And I was recently published, which is just-- 384 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,541 Maybe I have--yep, I do. 385 00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:44,337 Here it is, from the, um, hartfordwomenslitquarterly.com. 386 00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:47,716 [sighs] "A Willing Ignorance" by Fannie Schrute. 387 00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:50,051 [chuckles] 388 00:16:50,093 --> 00:16:52,095 - Totally. Yep. 389 00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,014 The people here are like... [blows raspberry] 390 00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:56,224 [chuckles] Like a fart. 391 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:58,018 You know what I'm saying? Like a fart. 392 00:16:58,059 --> 00:16:59,978 - You know what? Let's take a couple of nights 393 00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:02,522 and stay here and think about Aunt Shirley's offer. 394 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:03,982 - Couple of nights couldn't hurt. 395 00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:05,900 - Oh, somehow I think a couple of nights could hurt. 396 00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:08,695 - You will say yes on one. Five, four, three, two... 397 00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,114 Get ready to say yes. One! 398 00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:12,407 Yes! - Absolutely! 399 00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:17,245 Growing up with Dwight and Mose was not easy. 400 00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,914 Uh, Dwight was obviously the cool one, 401 00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:22,250 and Mose was the visionary, 402 00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:26,004 which left me to be the comedian. 403 00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:27,672 - That doesn't work on me... - Okay. 404 00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,215 - By the way. That's not-- 405 00:17:29,341 --> 00:17:31,259 - Quatre, trois, deux, un. 406 00:17:31,343 --> 00:17:33,678 Oui on un. Oui, un! 407 00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:35,055 - Very clever. - Oui. 408 00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:36,306 - Okay. - Oui, mais oui. 409 00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:38,308 - Oui, oui, oui. 410 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,060 - Oui. - Oh, my goodness. 411 00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:43,063 What do you think I should do? - Play one of the 6s or the 9s. 412 00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:44,272 - [chuckles] 413 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,941 Congratulations on getting the farm. 414 00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:48,985 Really happy for you kids. - Yeah? 415 00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:51,446 - But you're not gonna have any more of them city comforts-- 416 00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:55,200 your yoga parties, your bathhouses. 417 00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:58,953 I'll tell you--the farm is a hard place for a homosexual. 418 00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:01,664 - I am a screaming heterosexual. 419 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:02,999 [cork pops] - Oh. 420 00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:04,501 [object clatters] Ha! 421 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:08,546 I just assumed-- that salon haircut, no wife, 422 00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:10,840 and your choice to live on a gay farm. 423 00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:12,342 That's right. 424 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,844 Every last one of us... 425 00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:16,971 gay as the moon. 426 00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:19,474 - Wha--I thought you just said that this wasn't a gay farm. 427 00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:21,142 What--what are you talking about? 428 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:22,310 - Never mind. 429 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,978 Okay, think, think, think, think. 430 00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:25,355 Here we go. 431 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:28,066 The soil's radioactive. 432 00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:29,693 - Okay, that's great. 433 00:18:29,818 --> 00:18:31,778 Considering your old age and proximity to death, 434 00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,697 you might want to save some of your last words 435 00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:35,490 for people who are actually listening to you. 436 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:38,034 - Fair enough, as long as you know, 437 00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:40,704 if you take this farm from me, I'm gonna kill you. 438 00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,831 - Gulp. 439 00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:45,625 So who's up for a farm tour? 440 00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:47,127 Huh? 441 00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:50,088 Oh, isn't this nice? Gorgeous day, right? 442 00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:53,133 - Mm-hmm. - Oh, look, here is our well. 443 00:18:53,258 --> 00:18:55,093 I believe a young lady's first kiss 444 00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:57,804 might've happened here, or at a place just like it. 445 00:18:57,887 --> 00:19:00,598 Ah, youth, it dances in the brain, does it not? 446 00:19:00,682 --> 00:19:02,934 [laughs] - My God, what are you doing? 447 00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:04,561 - Oh, what am I doing? 448 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:07,772 People underestimate the power of nostalgia. 449 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,190 If baseball can use it 450 00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:11,192 to get people to care about that worthless sport, 451 00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,736 then I can use it to get my siblings 452 00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,237 to care about the farm. 453 00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:17,449 Nostalgia is truly one of the great human weaknesses. 454 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,367 Second only to the neck. 455 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,120 - Can you tell us something about what we're seeing? 456 00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:23,705 - Oh, man, really? 457 00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:26,791 Okay, this is a path or a road. It's made of dirt. 458 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:28,626 We might widen it at some point. 459 00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:30,837 - Okay, for goodness' sake, around this bend, 460 00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:33,048 we actually have one of the last natural oak forests 461 00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:34,299 in the state. 462 00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:38,678 - Weird. 463 00:19:38,762 --> 00:19:41,264 What happened to all those... gorgeous trees? 464 00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:43,058 - They've all been cut down or something. 465 00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:46,227 - Darn it! Gosh! 466 00:19:46,311 --> 00:19:49,064 They all got chopped down! - Yeah. 467 00:19:49,147 --> 00:19:52,984 - Apparently, oak is fetching quite a fair amount 468 00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:56,154 on the market by poachers. 469 00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:58,531 Well, who likes beets? 470 00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:01,159 We do! - Oh, my goodness. 471 00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:03,828 - [scoffs] That fence is falling apart. 472 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,955 - And if you lived here, 473 00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:07,999 we could fix it together as brothers. 474 00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:09,709 - Why don't you just get Mose to do it? 475 00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:11,544 - Mose always builds the fences around himself, 476 00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:13,421 and I have to rip it down to let him out. 477 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:17,467 - Hey, uh, I just want to say I'm sorry for screwing you. 478 00:20:17,592 --> 00:20:19,678 - I'm not sorry about it. 479 00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:22,347 - I am. It was my rock bottom. 480 00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:30,772 - Kevin, you can do this. - You don't know that. 481 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:33,024 - Kevin, um, let's think of something to distract us. 482 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:35,068 Like the movie "Skyfall." 483 00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:36,861 You loved the movie "Skyfall," right? 484 00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:38,154 - Mm-hmm. 485 00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:40,115 - James Bond was a spy. 486 00:20:40,198 --> 00:20:42,450 - Yes, he was a good spy. - Yeah. 487 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,285 He was the best. 488 00:20:44,369 --> 00:20:46,871 James Bond would love this cupcake. 489 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,331 - Hey, you know what? 490 00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:51,793 It was, uh... great to see you all again. 491 00:20:51,835 --> 00:20:54,337 Take care. 492 00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:56,464 [door opens] 493 00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:59,217 I am going through a 12-step program. 494 00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:01,678 I'm currently on step zero... 495 00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,514 which is, have a [bleep]load of fun. 496 00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:07,642 I spent six hours 497 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,020 carefully removing the frosting 498 00:21:10,145 --> 00:21:12,355 and then layering in a variety of drugs, 499 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,107 some legal, some not... 500 00:21:14,149 --> 00:21:17,277 some laxative, some constipating. 501 00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:20,196 You don't fire the Packman... 502 00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:23,033 and expect to get away with it. 503 00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:25,869 - Guys, I'm proud of us. 504 00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:27,287 I think we did the right thing. 505 00:21:27,412 --> 00:21:29,414 Hey! 506 00:21:29,456 --> 00:21:31,166 - What, Pam? - Wait! 507 00:21:31,249 --> 00:21:33,543 - He's gone. It's just a cupcake now. 508 00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:36,004 - No, no! It's the principle of the thing. 509 00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:37,922 - Oh, my God. 510 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:40,884 I forgive him so much. 511 00:21:40,925 --> 00:21:42,719 - [gagging] 512 00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:45,305 - Whoa! Is he choking? - Kevin? 513 00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:48,433 - [coughing] 514 00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:00,111 Oh, that was fantastic. 515 00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:01,488 - Well, look at this-- 516 00:22:01,529 --> 00:22:03,698 a boy in the wilderness, how picturesque. 517 00:22:03,782 --> 00:22:05,867 - Nice to meet you. 518 00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:09,371 [chuckles] 519 00:22:09,496 --> 00:22:11,748 - All right, let's continue, okay? 520 00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:14,292 Okay, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 521 00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:16,002 Come here. I just got to talk to you for one second. 522 00:22:16,044 --> 00:22:18,046 Are you trying to put me out of business? 523 00:22:18,129 --> 00:22:19,381 - Are you sure you're in business? 524 00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:20,840 - Very funny. 525 00:22:20,924 --> 00:22:22,926 The handshake, that gross wilting of your limb-- 526 00:22:22,967 --> 00:22:24,302 it's disgusting. 527 00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:27,430 People come here to have gruff-farmer handshakes. 528 00:22:27,555 --> 00:22:29,224 You understand? 529 00:22:29,307 --> 00:22:30,975 They want handshakes like that, they can go to the ballet. 530 00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:31,976 - I shake hands fine. 531 00:22:32,102 --> 00:22:33,520 - No, you do not shake hands fine. 532 00:22:33,645 --> 00:22:34,979 Here's how you shake hands. 533 00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:36,981 Extend your hand to me, firmly. Look me in the eye. 534 00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:39,067 Now grasp my hand. Squeeze it. 535 00:22:39,150 --> 00:22:40,652 - I am. - No, you're not. 536 00:22:40,735 --> 00:22:43,029 Hurt me. Do it. 537 00:22:43,071 --> 00:22:45,115 - I don't-- I don't want to hurt you. 538 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:47,158 - No-- [grunts] 539 00:22:49,619 --> 00:22:51,454 Squeeze it hard. - Uncle Dwight! 540 00:22:51,538 --> 00:22:53,540 - Squeeze it, or it will kill you. 541 00:22:53,623 --> 00:22:55,667 - What do I do? - Kill it! Squeeze it! 542 00:22:55,792 --> 00:22:57,252 Choke it! - Dwight, no! 543 00:22:57,377 --> 00:22:58,586 Are you okay? 544 00:22:58,712 --> 00:23:00,463 What is wrong with you? - Oh, relax. 545 00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:03,258 It doesn't even have fangs. [snake hissing] 546 00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:07,345 - What are you doing? [scoffs] 547 00:23:07,429 --> 00:23:10,098 That's it, we're leaving, first thing in the morning. 548 00:23:10,223 --> 00:23:11,933 Unbelievable. 549 00:23:11,975 --> 00:23:14,185 Watch out. 550 00:23:14,269 --> 00:23:16,563 - That sucks, huh? 551 00:23:16,688 --> 00:23:19,232 Game over on that one, right? - Hey, no. 552 00:23:19,357 --> 00:23:21,568 It's not over till-- - I can't stay here either. 553 00:23:21,693 --> 00:23:24,362 I have a--I have a really killer harvest this year. 554 00:23:24,404 --> 00:23:26,322 I'm gonna make a lot of money. 555 00:23:26,406 --> 00:23:28,283 I'm sorry, man. I know you wanted the farm. 556 00:23:39,502 --> 00:23:41,463 [insects chirping] 557 00:23:52,766 --> 00:23:54,642 - [sighs] 558 00:24:00,607 --> 00:24:02,025 [distant bird calling] 559 00:24:02,108 --> 00:24:04,069 [goat bleats] 560 00:24:05,820 --> 00:24:07,155 - Is that a guillotine? 561 00:24:07,197 --> 00:24:09,282 - This? No. 562 00:24:09,407 --> 00:24:12,160 That'd be cool, though. It's for milking. 563 00:24:14,329 --> 00:24:15,622 - That's a cow? 564 00:24:15,705 --> 00:24:17,624 [milk splashing in bucket] 565 00:24:17,707 --> 00:24:20,418 - Did you just ask me if this was a cow? 566 00:24:21,836 --> 00:24:24,547 - What are you doing now? 567 00:24:24,631 --> 00:24:27,133 - Come here. Come on. 568 00:24:27,217 --> 00:24:29,761 [milk splashing in bucket] 569 00:24:29,803 --> 00:24:33,056 Grab a teat with each hand. Sit down. 570 00:24:33,139 --> 00:24:34,849 [goat bleats] 571 00:24:34,891 --> 00:24:37,394 There you go. Squeeze from top to bottom. 572 00:24:37,435 --> 00:24:38,812 Really pull, use some muscle. 573 00:24:38,895 --> 00:24:41,940 Draw the milk out. All right, going all right? 574 00:24:42,023 --> 00:24:43,983 - I don't know. 575 00:24:44,025 --> 00:24:47,404 - Well, is the udder hot? Is the milk clumpy? 576 00:24:47,529 --> 00:24:50,198 - I don't know any of that. - Okay, you suck at this. 577 00:24:50,323 --> 00:24:53,076 Give me those teats. [clears throat] 578 00:24:53,201 --> 00:24:55,328 [sighs] 579 00:24:55,412 --> 00:24:56,788 Didn't your father teach you anything? 580 00:24:56,913 --> 00:24:58,540 - I never met him. 581 00:25:01,001 --> 00:25:03,461 Is it dangerous to take the eggs in front of them? 582 00:25:03,503 --> 00:25:05,463 - Yes, very, you really need to stand back, 583 00:25:05,505 --> 00:25:07,257 'cause these are killer chickens. 584 00:25:07,382 --> 00:25:09,843 - I was just asking you something I didn't know. 585 00:25:09,968 --> 00:25:11,970 - Which is fine, and you learned something, 586 00:25:12,053 --> 00:25:13,805 but it was kind of a stupid question, 587 00:25:13,888 --> 00:25:15,557 so you're gonna get made fun of a little bit. 588 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,559 [clears throat] 589 00:25:22,397 --> 00:25:25,900 - Are we gonna eat these today? - If you want. 590 00:25:25,942 --> 00:25:29,362 - Mom says there's nothing as good as these farm eggs. 591 00:25:31,364 --> 00:25:33,575 - She said that? 592 00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:36,411 - Mm-hmm. 593 00:25:36,536 --> 00:25:38,496 - Here I was, appealing to her mind, 594 00:25:38,580 --> 00:25:41,124 but nostalgia is buried in the senses. 595 00:25:41,207 --> 00:25:43,752 Just wait till my sister gets a whiff of my eggs. 596 00:25:43,835 --> 00:25:45,754 [chuckles] And as for Jeb-- 597 00:25:45,837 --> 00:25:47,088 Yes, hello? 598 00:25:47,213 --> 00:25:49,966 Uh, I would like to report an illegal marijuana farm 599 00:25:50,050 --> 00:25:51,885 in Northern California. 600 00:25:51,926 --> 00:25:53,678 This is for the owner's own good. 601 00:25:53,762 --> 00:25:55,221 Mm-hmm. 602 00:25:55,305 --> 00:25:57,223 And afterwards, I'd like to be connected to the Pentagon 603 00:25:57,307 --> 00:25:59,100 on an entirely different matter, 604 00:25:59,184 --> 00:26:01,978 about something I saw in the sky. 605 00:26:02,062 --> 00:26:04,272 - Good morning, Erin. 606 00:26:04,397 --> 00:26:05,690 - Hey. 607 00:26:09,277 --> 00:26:10,862 - Hey, everybody. 608 00:26:10,904 --> 00:26:12,655 Um... [clicks tongue] 609 00:26:12,739 --> 00:26:14,657 I decided to eat my cupcake. 610 00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:15,867 I thought about it last night. 611 00:26:15,950 --> 00:26:17,786 I talked to Jim, I talked to my sister, 612 00:26:17,869 --> 00:26:20,914 and I think that as long as Todd Packer doesn't know, 613 00:26:20,997 --> 00:26:22,207 it's okay. 614 00:26:22,290 --> 00:26:23,750 - I don't care what you do, Pam. 615 00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:25,919 Just please stop making noise. - Phyllis! 616 00:26:26,044 --> 00:26:27,671 - Packer laced the cupcakes. 617 00:26:27,754 --> 00:26:29,089 - No! 618 00:26:29,130 --> 00:26:30,799 - Did you get diarrhea, or were you stoned? 619 00:26:30,924 --> 00:26:32,967 - Some of us got both. - Oh, my God! 620 00:26:33,051 --> 00:26:34,594 Is everyone okay? 621 00:26:34,636 --> 00:26:36,596 - Last night, I got out all of my old dolls 622 00:26:36,638 --> 00:26:38,807 and played with them on the living-room floor. 623 00:26:38,890 --> 00:26:42,435 Then I ordered ten American Girl outfits online. 624 00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:45,146 It was thousands of dollars. 625 00:26:45,188 --> 00:26:47,524 - Yeah, well, count yourself lucky, Phyllis. 626 00:26:47,607 --> 00:26:49,025 [whispering] I got the toilet. 627 00:26:49,109 --> 00:26:50,777 - Me too. 628 00:26:50,860 --> 00:26:53,571 - I went Christmas caroling... in March, 629 00:26:53,613 --> 00:26:55,865 and I fertilized some bushes along the way. 630 00:26:55,949 --> 00:26:58,034 So not my best night. 631 00:26:58,118 --> 00:26:59,577 But not my worst night. 632 00:26:59,703 --> 00:27:01,996 - [sighs] What did you do, Andy? 633 00:27:05,583 --> 00:27:06,835 - Last night! 634 00:27:06,918 --> 00:27:08,461 Oh, God, um... 635 00:27:08,545 --> 00:27:11,506 I don't know. Noth-nothing, really. 636 00:27:11,589 --> 00:27:14,175 Kevin? - Why would you ask me? 637 00:27:14,259 --> 00:27:15,885 - I'm not--I'm not a-- I just--I don't know. 638 00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:17,429 [both screaming] 639 00:27:17,512 --> 00:27:18,805 Oh... 640 00:27:18,888 --> 00:27:22,726 gosh, actually, it is hard to recall. 641 00:27:22,809 --> 00:27:26,938 Um, pretty normal night. 642 00:27:27,022 --> 00:27:30,316 - My night was just like that... 643 00:27:30,358 --> 00:27:32,360 Yep. - Okay. 644 00:27:32,485 --> 00:27:36,531 [pants tearing] - Meaning normal. 645 00:27:36,656 --> 00:27:38,366 - Yeah, I didn't see you last night at all. 646 00:27:38,491 --> 00:27:40,744 - Nope, I did not see you either. 647 00:27:40,827 --> 00:27:42,704 [Kevin groans loudly] 648 00:27:44,539 --> 00:27:48,084 - Wow. He is officially the worst human being. 649 00:27:48,168 --> 00:27:50,295 - Ah! 650 00:27:50,378 --> 00:27:52,172 - But... Kevin, that's-- 651 00:27:52,297 --> 00:27:54,466 - Yeah, no, I understand, Pam. 652 00:27:54,507 --> 00:27:55,884 I understand. 653 00:27:57,552 --> 00:27:58,678 - No. Ohh. 654 00:28:02,599 --> 00:28:04,601 - The scene was incredible, John-- 655 00:28:04,642 --> 00:28:06,394 the biggest raid in years, 656 00:28:06,478 --> 00:28:09,522 as police discovered over six tons of marijuana. 657 00:28:09,606 --> 00:28:12,484 The land has now been confiscated, 658 00:28:12,567 --> 00:28:14,069 and the fields will be burned. 659 00:28:14,152 --> 00:28:15,904 [whisk swishing] 660 00:28:15,945 --> 00:28:18,073 - Oh, good morning. Didn't see you there. 661 00:28:18,198 --> 00:28:20,367 And here we are, just like every morning. 662 00:28:20,450 --> 00:28:22,327 Have a seat. - Thank you. 663 00:28:22,452 --> 00:28:24,746 - Allow me. [grunting] 664 00:28:24,829 --> 00:28:26,206 And welcome. 665 00:28:26,331 --> 00:28:28,208 I hope you'll like the freshest farm eggs 666 00:28:28,333 --> 00:28:30,043 you've ever imagined in your life. 667 00:28:30,085 --> 00:28:31,670 - Are those the eggs I collected? 668 00:28:31,753 --> 00:28:33,088 - Not relevant. 669 00:28:33,171 --> 00:28:35,006 - You collected eggs? - I got them this morning. 670 00:28:35,090 --> 00:28:37,509 - Okay, he didn't really help. He collected, like, four eggs. 671 00:28:37,592 --> 00:28:39,344 - Five. - Five is like four. 672 00:28:39,469 --> 00:28:40,679 It's the same thing. 673 00:28:40,762 --> 00:28:42,764 - Did you use the milk that I milked? 674 00:28:42,847 --> 00:28:44,891 - You squeezed, like, eight pumps out of a goat. 675 00:28:44,974 --> 00:28:47,560 Ah, Fannie, I remember how much you liked bacon. 676 00:28:47,686 --> 00:28:49,437 - Oh. I liked ham, but... 677 00:28:49,479 --> 00:28:50,897 I have ham-- 678 00:28:50,980 --> 00:28:54,693 cut into thin strips and prepared in the style of bacon. 679 00:28:54,776 --> 00:28:57,445 - What is this? - White rice. 680 00:28:57,570 --> 00:28:59,823 Ta-da. 681 00:28:59,906 --> 00:29:01,991 - Hey, you know what's weird? 682 00:29:02,075 --> 00:29:04,035 Um, I've been thinking 683 00:29:04,119 --> 00:29:07,956 that being around this place is kind of what it's all about. 684 00:29:08,039 --> 00:29:10,792 I have decided to stay 685 00:29:10,875 --> 00:29:14,337 and work on the family farm. 686 00:29:14,421 --> 00:29:16,089 So... 687 00:29:16,172 --> 00:29:17,757 180. 688 00:29:17,882 --> 00:29:20,593 Let's farm this old slut... 689 00:29:20,719 --> 00:29:22,637 of a farm. [clears throat] 690 00:29:22,721 --> 00:29:24,723 - Sounds like you and I are in. - Yeah. 691 00:29:24,764 --> 00:29:26,599 - Oh, too bad about Fannie, though. 692 00:29:26,641 --> 00:29:28,643 - Too bad. 693 00:29:28,727 --> 00:29:30,979 - Unless... - No. 694 00:29:33,356 --> 00:29:35,400 - Eggs, bacon, biscuits, and steak okay for you? 695 00:29:35,483 --> 00:29:38,820 - That'll do. - Oh, for God's sake. 696 00:29:38,903 --> 00:29:42,407 - She could change her mind. - Not gonna change my mind. 697 00:29:42,490 --> 00:29:45,869 both: [droning] Yes... - No. 698 00:29:45,910 --> 00:29:47,120 Doesn't work on me, you guys. 699 00:29:47,203 --> 00:29:50,165 - So that's it. I just wanted to make amends. 700 00:29:54,377 --> 00:29:56,212 - Wow. - That's big of you, man. 701 00:29:56,296 --> 00:29:58,048 Takes a lot of courage. 702 00:29:58,131 --> 00:30:00,508 - Ooh. Red velvet. 703 00:30:00,592 --> 00:30:01,843 I should apologize, too. 704 00:30:01,926 --> 00:30:04,012 - It's okay. 705 00:30:04,054 --> 00:30:06,014 I'm over it. 706 00:30:11,936 --> 00:30:14,731 [upbeat music] 707 00:30:14,814 --> 00:30:21,154 ? ? 708 00:30:21,237 --> 00:30:23,323 - ? When we arrive, sons and daughters... ? 709 00:30:23,406 --> 00:30:26,368 - Ooh, this is no nine-acre worm farm. 710 00:30:26,493 --> 00:30:28,244 This is a beast. 711 00:30:28,328 --> 00:30:30,872 Whoever's managing this thing is gonna have a hell of a job. 712 00:30:30,997 --> 00:30:32,540 - Mm-hmm. 713 00:30:32,582 --> 00:30:35,418 - Not it. - Not it. 714 00:30:35,502 --> 00:30:37,128 - It. 715 00:30:41,675 --> 00:30:43,510 If your kid doesn't put in some farm time, 716 00:30:43,635 --> 00:30:45,261 he's gonna stay like that. 717 00:30:45,345 --> 00:30:47,180 - [chuckles] All right, fine. 718 00:30:47,263 --> 00:30:50,141 - ? When we arrive, sons and daughters ? 719 00:30:50,225 --> 00:30:54,354 ? We'll make our homes on the water ? 720 00:30:54,437 --> 00:30:58,441 ? We'll build our walls aluminum ? 721 00:31:03,822 --> 00:31:06,574 all: ? When we arrive, sons and daughters ? 722 00:31:07,659 --> 00:31:10,745 ? We'll make our homes on the water ? 723 00:31:10,870 --> 00:31:14,374 ? We'll build our walls aluminum ? 724 00:31:14,457 --> 00:31:17,877 ? We'll fill our mouths with cinnamon ? 725 00:31:17,961 --> 00:31:20,088 ? Now ? 726 00:31:20,130 --> 00:31:27,220 ? ? 727 00:31:27,303 --> 00:31:29,222 - So I forgot about this old custom. 728 00:31:29,305 --> 00:31:31,558 If a man is interested in courting a woman, 729 00:31:31,641 --> 00:31:35,270 he may throw the beaks of a crow at her. 730 00:31:35,353 --> 00:31:38,148 And then if she's interested in accepting the courtship, 731 00:31:38,231 --> 00:31:41,276 she has to destroy the beaks. 732 00:31:41,401 --> 00:31:48,241 ? ? 733 00:31:48,324 --> 00:31:51,786 all: ? When we arrive, sons and daughters ? 734 00:31:51,870 --> 00:31:55,373 {\an8}? We'll make our homes on the water ? 735 00:31:55,457 --> 00:31:58,793 {\an8}? We'll build our walls aluminum ? 736 00:31:58,877 --> 00:32:02,130 ? We'll fill our mouths with cinnamon ? 737 00:32:02,180 --> 00:32:06,730 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0